Opening Mother Fuckin Day

I am just now recovering from my hangover from Friday night. The first game of the 2011 campaign was definitely the best experience at any sporting event I've ever experienced. I want to get some things off my chest before I give a quick recap of the Friday night festivities. In no particular order, here are some things to avoid when attending any other games at the 'Dome.

1. If you're going to wear a hat, make sure its a Jays hat. I can't stress enough how critical this point is. It will make you look like less of a complete moron and save you harassment from hordes of drunken fans including myself. If you're wearing say, a Pirates hat to a Jays vs Indians game, then you really shouldn't be there in the first place.

2. I (heart) BJs shirts are tacky, stupid, and overplayed. We've all seen them. We laughed the first time. But they're no longer funny and need to be retired.

3. Don't leave or return to your seat in the middle of an at-bat. You'd be surprised at how many people do this. It's bullshit and just flat out fucking annoying for those of us who actually want to see the game.

4.Don't throw shit onto the field * . As you may know, a baseball game is a rather time consuming event. Dumping your garbage onto the field of play just lengthens the game and delays any pitches from being thrown. You don't watch the garbage men haul away your neighbours' trash, right? No one wants to watch a 14 year old ball boy pick up your can of Budweiser from left-centre field either.

and finally,

5.Don't be the guy trying to start the wave. There is something wrong with someone who values a good wave over a good game of baseball. So don't be that jackass who pisses and moans about the people in his section not following his lead. People are there to get drunk and enjoy the game in all of its glory, not to take orders from some drunken douchebag with a chinstrap beard. With that being said though, never let the wave die once it reaches you. Pay it forward. 

NOW. Onto the game. I've never seen the 'Dome packed so tightly or heard  a crowd so loud. 45,539 people were packed into that cement palace and they were rewarded for their enthusiasm with an absolute beatdown of the Minnesota Twins. With 4 round-trippers and 13 RBI, the Jays really took it to Carl Pavano. I'll spare you the details because I'm sure most of you attended or have seen the recaps on TSN and Sportsnet. All in all, JP had a monster day and we're seeing a new brand of baseball with Rajai Davis and Yunel Escobar pulling off a double steal in the first goddamn inning. Something the Jays haven't done since Vernon Wells and Scott Rolen had pulled it off in 2009. 

So expect some very interesting and exciting ball in the coming months. And futrthermore, don't buy into this shit of our projected 75-win season,'cause 162-0 perfection is still in effect.

* - Unless you can ping A-rod in the face with a rock